Weekly Roundup: Nov 2 -5

Bingo Bar Crawl is a step forward in the bar crawl industry – giving out game booklets with 100 different challenges. The more challenges you do, the more friends you make, and the more prizes you win. Revolutionary! But we’ve taken it a slight step further and enhanced it beautifully with a simple, kinky addition of… swallow whatever is in your mouth right now as we don’t want wet electronics… Sex Toys!! Now that’s a good bar crawl. DISCLAIMER: Sex toys are not inserted into any body parts. So settle down wild child. To those of you sighing in disappointment, head out of the gutter please. Because no one can deny that watching someone run around a bar with a dildo stuck on their foreheads yelling “I’m a unicorn” is hilarious.

So yes, ladies, gentlemen, and bingo legends, this week was definitely the week of the dildo. Really sorts the big league winners from the middle tier players. Not to worry! If you can’t conduct an interview with a stranger using the dildo as a microphone, we still have plenty of other staff challenges for you, that hasn’t changed. However, the pleasure you get when you manage to put a smile on a bartender's face as you order a drink with the dildo plastered on your head, is rewarding enough as it is. Though the pleasure of having a dildo slapped across your face by your best mate, doesn’t have a leg to stand on compared to the pleasure of being the slapper. Especially when the dildo leaves a nice cock length red mark on your cheek. (Sorry about the challenge Tom, and you’re welcome Sarah).

Speaking of dildos. Quick shout out to our blue-haired, mermaid-looking staff member Mollie, (no, I’m not calling you a dildo, Mollie!), who was rather unnecessarily pushed into a bush on the crawl by a guest (dildo). Hope your dignity is restored Mollie. Also sorry that I missed it happen, might have to do it myself next time – you dildo (Mollie).

Continuing the topic of sex, we allow you eager partiers to show us videos and photos of challenges so we can cross them off. It’s sometimes easier and sometimes you want the memories on your phone – though you may delete them the next day, sober. But please take note of how many photos you are meaning to show us when you swipe through them! The naked truth is that was a staff member was rather startled when shown one swipe too many and saw a lot more than they were expecting!

Last little message before I sign out for this week. We love you all. We do. And after a crawl we enjoy talking to you all the next day and helping you piece together the end of the night! As after the crawl everyone does their own thing and we want to know what you did. There’s never a dull moment that follows our question of ‘How was your night?’. Standard responses range from “I got laid”, to “yeah, I vomited and don’t remember how I got home”. The general consensus being they had a great night. But our welsh lads really took the cake this week when two of the group woke up, no recollection of the night, and couldn’t find two of their boys anywhere. Now, I’ve been told no one knows what actually happened, and there were rumours flying around. But the end result was a phone call from the police station saying they had two welsh boys locked up overnight and needed help getting out. So everyone, please be responsible!

Anyhow. Fill up your drinks again, enjoy your morning commute, your lunch break, or your pregame -whatever you’re up to, and remember the eternal words spoken by a great man –

“I drink to make other people more interesting” – Ernest Hemingway,

and words spoken by a man not so great, (but my mum thinks I am),

“Let’s go get fucked up” – myself.

Bye bye gorgeous people!